How to wreck St. Patrick's Day

Ok, where to start. We'll start with the minute I got out of my car downtown. I was wearing dark jeans and of course, a green shirt. It had bunnies on it in the shape of the symbol for infinity. Plus an earring with a green feather. I was set. Not wearing anything out of the norm. As soon as I stepped out of my car, I fed the meter a dime because there were still 10 minutes to 8. Most parking spots downtown are only metered until 8.

Anyhoo, when I got out of my car, there were 2 dudes across the street in normal college guy attire. Shorts, grey surf shirt and flip flops. Only they had green foam statue of liberty headbands on. Apparently a tax service was handing them out. Now keep in mind, it is 7:50 pm, they asked me if I had change for a dollar so they could put quarters in the machine. Hello, idiots! Read! There's a sticker on the machine that would've have saved me the brain cells I wasted explaining this to them!

With that over with, I walked to my destination... Durty Nelly's for a pint of Guinness and to see Not Tonight Josephine. They went on at 9, so I was dead bored until then. Last night I actually heard a song from a local band (that I think fashions themselves after Flobots, not sure) called "Drink Until You're Wasted." Wow, great message for spring break! I'm on it!

I spent my time watching all the drunks around me because it's fun. Korean girl: "I'm soooo drunk!" Her friends (in an irritated tone): "Yes. You are." Korean girl: "That makes me Irish!" No honey.

Then there was the fashion. Why does fashion go to shit on St. Patrick's day? Jeans and a green shirt are sufficient people! Yes, wear your green beads, tiaras and funny bow/neck ties. Leave your shamrock pjs, ill-fitting short sun dresses, wacky socks (that don't match anything else you're wearing), and school girl outfit with spike heels at home. No one gets this retarded for any other holiday. Also, I don't really feel like anyone should have to say this anymore, but after last night... We all know that big girls are beautiful too. I'm not saying they aren't. BUT! If you are a big girl, please wear clothes that fit you. Cottage cheese belongs in the refrigerator, not out in the open at concerts. Please wear flattering clothes, you'll draw less attention to your flub and more attention to the more pleasing parts, ie: your face....or personality(?). I have a bit of chub around my hips, who doesn't but you will never catch me with a muffin top, unless I'm eating it. Ist das klar (is that clear)?

Not Tonight Josephine was great by the way. They played 2 new songs and looked sooo proud of them selves. I will say, David (their singer) looks like he dyed his hair black. Now he looks like Stuart Townsend when he was in Resurrection Man (great movie and book). Not a bad thing. During their set, I had issues with the 30-something in the school girl outfit and spike heels. She kind of looked like Janet from The Muppets. How do I know she was 30-something, or more? I'm 26 (and a half) and I have no wrinkles (I get carded for everything! Even hairspray...). Maybe she just partied really hard. Who cares, anyhoo, she charged right to the front of the stage where I was, bumped into me and then started "dancing" in front of me. Very drunk. I told her to move her ass. She did. Haha, I love being fierce!

I only went to see NTJ because the bf was at home sick. I tried to be smooth (for who, I don't know) and down the last 3 sips of my Guinness. Yep. Spilled a little. doh! I had a long walk to the car and it was 10. Next year I will bring a camera to document these drunkards!